Something new to proove!

I guess it was about a month ago now when I was heading off to Jamaica for the first real holiday I have had in years and years. I wish I could say that in the weeks that I have been back home here in the frozen north I have been working my ass off so much so that I deserve another week away in the sun but I really don't. After years of working way way way to hard at keeping this crazy ass dream alive, I guess maybe I have kinda hit a bit of a wall. I've gotten soft I think, a little lazy even. I could be a tad exhausted I guess or perhaps just a wee bit confused about how and when things are going to fall into place the way I actually started thinking it was going to.

I'd be lieing if I said that since my Gemini Nomination for "Best Host" in a Tv series I haven't been maybe holding out and pretty sure I was going to be getting another crack or two at having my own Network produced show to see what I could do if given a shot. "Be Real with JR DIGS" was the first network series I have ever worked on and I was nominated for a Gemini award for my job hosting the weekly prime time series. It took almost six years until I finally got my shot and the corker is that it's slowly starting to look as though it might be another half decade or more until I get another shot at doing it again.

I suppose It's time to give up on the idea that any of this is going to end up woking out the way I thought it would this past year or so. Time to start all over again cause waiting around any longer for things to fall into place seems stupid. I see that now! Time to start making it happen for myself again the only way I know how. With no budget, no staff and no chance at all of pulling it off for another five years, I've got to suck it up and realize that what I need to do right now is something super low budget and something I can keep doing for another five years, not another five months.

I've done what I set out to do all those years ago. Now I've got something new to proove!

First though, I think I need to figure out if I have enough airmiles saved up to get me to Florida so I can go mooch off my folks for week and escape winter one last time. I may not have worked hard enough over the last three weeks to deserve another week in the sun but that doesn't mean I can't load my laptop full of footage and work on stuff in the sun instead of here in the freezen friggin cold.

Hope my next blog entry is from the airport on my way to the beach again like my last one was. Yes kid's, I'm still livin the dream!